Oh what a difference a few months can bring… 5 months ago, my life was rolling along very predictably. I had created a life in Kansas City that I had enjoyed for more than 20 years. I had a huge house, a beautiful art studio, and a thriving business. I had worked hard for those things, and lived every day to the fullest.
My mother and sisters live in Lincoln, Nebraska. I would go up there to visit at least once a month. This had become a routine that I had learned to love. In fact, most of my life had become a routine of sorts. I was enjoying the feeling of a predictable lifestyle, based in activities of my own choosing and location.
Each year in the winter months, I would travel to Southwest Florida, to enjoy the warmth and escape the winters. It was mostly due to health reasons, but for obvious reasons it was also for the pure joy of it as well. For about 8 years, all of this carried on routinely and uninterrupted. But, as we all know, things can change on a dime. Nothing in this life is permanent.
In October, my mother, who was 90 years old, (with the mental outlook and attitude of a 20 year old!), took a catastrophic fall. Little did I know, that her fall was the beginning of my entire life starting to unravel.
As I sit here now, writing this blog, nothing is the same. My mom passed away in December. Along with that came the heartbreaking task of emptying her home, which housed all of my childhood memories. I had lived there since I was 4, and it had always remained my touch stone. Mom was consistently there all those years, and now it was gone. The house is now sold, so my rock has also disappeared.
With that, I realized that I no longer wanted to remain in the Midwest. While life was great, without my mom it had no hold on me anymore. It had all become too routine, too much work, and the house that I loved now seemed like a burden. So, I emptied it. Along with mementos I brought back of my mom, all of the memories of raising my own family were placed in boxes as well. I decided to move to my little cottage in Florida. Within in 90 days, everything that had once seemed so dependable, and so routine, was gone.
But, this is not a sad story. While elements certainly have broken my heart, it was a wonderful gift. It was gift of freedom, and adventure. I had known for years that I was a happier person in Florida, so I followed my heart. Yes, a few thought I was nuts to leave such a prosperous situation that I had worked so hard to create. And yes, I miss my family and all of my friends. But, the rewards have been immense.
I learned that “stuff” is not the means to happiness. I learned that being successful was not either. Happiness is on the inside, and a covenant you have with yourself. By shedding the heavy load of commitment I had to a huge home and yard, a huge studio and business, and all of the obligations associated with those things, I was able to reconnect with myself. I had become lost in the shuffle. I was not the person, the writer, or the artist I knew I was capable of being. I needed less material things in order to obtain more of a personal connection with life.
So, here I am, a mere 90 days later, a brand new me. It all happened so fast. It was a terribly difficult process to go through. There were moments I thought I was going to break. But it was all worth it. All of things that I have been wanting to do, but never had enough time, are now possible.
Sometimes we need to shed the weight of our own existence. We need to analyze whether what we are doing is truly fulfilling. I loved what I was doing, but it was no longer inspiring me. I was inspiring everyone else instead. Sometimes it’s good to change! Even when things are going well!
I hope you will follow along as I spread my wings, and start anew. I have a lot to share in the future! So, please come back to my website often, so I can inspire you to be the best that you can be.
Until next time….